Catching up with...

I haven't posted in ages. Good news, I'm working my ass off. Bad news, I'm working my ass off.

It recently occurred to me that I don't believe in God. The non-belief has been on for years, but the ramifications of it only occurred to me about a month or two ago.

This means that when I die, that's it. I cease to exist. Period. No consciousness aware of it, no heaven, no hell, no nothing. Complete erasure.

I find this absofuckinglutely intolerable. Why the fuck are we trying to fix races or the economy or the price of grain in Uzbekistan? Why aren't we, as a human race, trying to find a way to fix life?

More to come on this topic, as I freak out about it more and more. And don't try to sell me religion - been there, done that, and believe me... I WISH I could believe.