Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Get Onto The BUS

Get Onto The BUS

That's right! Next stop, da 'Burgh! As in Pittsburgh. As in home of your National Championship Steelers!!! Word!

The train ride was relatively uneventful, if long. I left our nation's capital (a Capital City, may I remind you) at 2:55 PM and arrived in my homeland at 11:33 PM. Along the way, the following exciting events occurred. Remember my penchant for excruciating detail? I also have one for making up a story where none exists:

The apple I swiped from Jules' and Frank's kitchen counter.

Me eating the apple.

Just when you think, "Good Lord, I'm reading this?" the following was spotted at one of the stops (perhaps Martinsburg, I don't quite recall):

I can just imagine it now...

Crackhead's Last Stand

Halal Heaven

Maude Mauls Martinsburg

Fatty Finds a Home

Anyway, I thought it was Gi-larious!

By the way, I would recommend against the Amtrak Tuna Salad Sandwich. It's not so much that it was bad, it was just weird - I mean it incorporated pickles (and not much else) into the mix. Now I'm all for pickles, but not as a substitute for proper celery and onions. And the bread was mushy. Ew.

Upon arriving in Pittsburgh, my awesome brother picked me up and took me to his swank abode on the South Side. After dragging my bags upstairs, I turned around, took the key and hit the South City Tavern. Where everyone was younger than me by about 10 years. And very impressed that I sat there drinking a Yuengling and a Jameson's neat.

Dude: Is that a boilermaker?
Me: I think it's only a boilermaker when you drop the shot in and chug it. Hence the boiling and the making.
Dude: Oh.
Me: (sigh)

Yay alcohol, boo being old broad. And... scene.

Oh, wait, as John Stewart always says, "Here is your moment of Zen."

2 What'd you say?

Blogger Gabe said...

wait a minute...Bill sucks cock?

6:50 PM, May 16, 2006  
Anonymous Jules said...

This post puts me in mind of you as some sort of lovely vagabond. Vagabond for train rides, lonely stops sporting broken down shacks, and swiped apples. Lovely, for swank, late-night-liquor neat, and proper use of proper.

4:15 PM, May 17, 2006  

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