After those messages...

That's right, folks, I'm finally back. After a long hiatus (which, as far as I can tell, is different from a high anus, the latter also causing the t'aint to appear to have a more vast spread, at least on the male of the species), I have returned to spread joy, cheer, enlightenment, ennui and confusion to you, my merry foils. Today's spark of light hails from CNN.com:

Smoker tried to open airliner door

Now, I don't know about you, but that headline was IRRESISTIBLE to me. We learn further in the article:

[Defense lawyer] Shilton said Sellies has no memory of what happened on the flight and that she has a history of sleepwalking.

History of sleepwalking, eh? How does that apply here? One would think a history of sleepSMOKING may excuse the poor sedative and alcohol ridden woman. Perhaps sleepSKYDIVING could also be applied as a rationale. Sleepwalking? For amateurs, I tell you.

That's all for now, folks. I've missed you. Well, I've missed you missing me. Ah, heck, let me just go find a pool to stare at my own reflection in...